5 years later, I came back to the same spot. I wonder: what has changed in my life for the past 5 years?
When I looked at the mirror, I only see the time has marked my body, but how much did I really gain?
I am still single(same)
I am still a while from graduating from college (same)
I am still waiting in the silence, alone (same)
I still don't have any money in the pocket (same)
I am still driving the same car, except it is getting older as well.
I had all those dreams that I thought I could complete after graduating from college which I still haven't done.
I wonder, how did it all happen.
And I am still making the same mistake about women, awww... why I never learn.
My resume is still here and there, not much learned since I spent all these time in games, and working in restraunt.
Aww, After all these 5 years....
5 years ago, I never thought about the future, But here I am looking back and regrating.
What has changed? This is the question I always ask myself...
Monday, April 7, 2014
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
忽然想起一个故事
小时候 经常会被要求背诵， 忽然想到这一段中的 “一人、一桌、一椅、一扇、一抚尺而已”。
京中有善口技者。会宾客大宴，于厅事之东北角，施八尺屏障，口技人坐屏障中，一桌、一椅、一扇、一抚尺而已。众宾团坐。少顷，但闻屏障中抚尺一下满坐寂然，无敢哗者。遥闻深巷中犬吠，便有妇人惊觉欠伸，其夫呓语。既而儿醒，大啼。夫亦醒。妇抚儿乳，儿含乳啼，妇拍而呜之。又一大儿醒，絮絮不止。当是时，妇手拍儿声，口中呜声，儿含乳啼声，大儿初醒声，夫叱大儿声，一时齐发，众妙毕备。满坐宾客无不伸颈，侧目，微笑，默叹，以为妙绝。 未几，夫齁声起，妇拍儿亦渐拍渐止。微闻有鼠作作索索，盆器倾侧，妇梦中咳嗽。宾客意少舒，稍稍正坐。 忽一人大呼：“火起”，夫起大呼，妇亦起大呼。两儿齐哭。俄而百千人大呼，百千儿哭，百千犬吠。中间力拉崩倒之声，火爆声，呼呼风声，百千齐作；又夹百千求救声，曳屋许许声，抢夺声，泼水声。凡所应有，无所不有。虽人有百手，手有百指，不能指其一端；人有百口，口有百舌，不能名其一处也。于是宾客无不变色离席，奋袖出臂，两股战战，几欲先走。 忽然抚尺一下，群响毕绝。撤屏视之，一人、一桌、一椅、一扇、一抚尺而已。
京中有善口技者。会宾客大宴，于厅事之东北角，施八尺屏障，口技人坐屏障中，一桌、一椅、一扇、一抚尺而已。众宾团坐。少顷，但闻屏障中抚尺一下满坐寂然，无敢哗者。遥闻深巷中犬吠，便有妇人惊觉欠伸，其夫呓语。既而儿醒，大啼。夫亦醒。妇抚儿乳，儿含乳啼，妇拍而呜之。又一大儿醒，絮絮不止。当是时，妇手拍儿声，口中呜声，儿含乳啼声，大儿初醒声，夫叱大儿声，一时齐发，众妙毕备。满坐宾客无不伸颈，侧目，微笑，默叹，以为妙绝。 未几，夫齁声起，妇拍儿亦渐拍渐止。微闻有鼠作作索索，盆器倾侧，妇梦中咳嗽。宾客意少舒，稍稍正坐。 忽一人大呼：“火起”，夫起大呼，妇亦起大呼。两儿齐哭。俄而百千人大呼，百千儿哭，百千犬吠。中间力拉崩倒之声，火爆声，呼呼风声，百千齐作；又夹百千求救声，曳屋许许声，抢夺声，泼水声。凡所应有，无所不有。虽人有百手，手有百指，不能指其一端；人有百口，口有百舌，不能名其一处也。于是宾客无不变色离席，奋袖出臂，两股战战，几欲先走。 忽然抚尺一下，群响毕绝。撤屏视之，一人、一桌、一椅、一扇、一抚尺而已。
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
friend's birthday
haha
handan's b day yea and Ren Ren KTV again.
cant avoid the drinking part once you are there
i stopped drinking eversince the puke i did 2 weeks ago after too many beer.
She was there, well dressed and make uped. she took a ride from other guy instead of calling me, thats fine. ever since i started to make her as my target, i dont think i saw any signs of she is interested in me. she hang out w/ me alot and we talked a lot, but i dont see how she treats me differently than treating her other guy friends.
well, what can i say, maybe i believed the "Nice guy" theory from jennifer and actually tried it for the first time.
I took my time, we went out like >10 times, instead of hitting on her when we just met because i thought this is the way of doing long term relationships. But i guess it didnt work well since i dont see any signs of she is interested in me. I was still being "too nice" to her even i was trying not to, i enjoyed being nice, and ended up messed up, maybe....
The book Melvin gave me is about the "Game Theory", and it reminds me that I do not have a game setted up yet, so maybe i should let this person go and try some new things.
handan's b day yea and Ren Ren KTV again.
cant avoid the drinking part once you are there
i stopped drinking eversince the puke i did 2 weeks ago after too many beer.
She was there, well dressed and make uped. she took a ride from other guy instead of calling me, thats fine. ever since i started to make her as my target, i dont think i saw any signs of she is interested in me. she hang out w/ me alot and we talked a lot, but i dont see how she treats me differently than treating her other guy friends.
well, what can i say, maybe i believed the "Nice guy" theory from jennifer and actually tried it for the first time.
I took my time, we went out like >10 times, instead of hitting on her when we just met because i thought this is the way of doing long term relationships. But i guess it didnt work well since i dont see any signs of she is interested in me. I was still being "too nice" to her even i was trying not to, i enjoyed being nice, and ended up messed up, maybe....
The book Melvin gave me is about the "Game Theory", and it reminds me that I do not have a game setted up yet, so maybe i should let this person go and try some new things.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Whats on your mind
I am here reading this book in the library by June Yip- "Envisioning Taiwan", and there is a paper due tomorrow about postcolonialism as an appropriate context to evaluate films in Taiwan. I just want to say that why postcolonialism? Maybe I've never experienced a culture such as "postcolonialism", but I think even Taiwanese people are that clonialized. Forgive my grammer or spelling, but I dont think the taking over of KMT can be considered as colonialization, does it?
just like can you say the Qing dynasty, the manchu colonialized China? it is just a different kind of culture and I have nothing to write at this time.. sigh final... take home paper... sleepless night..
Thursday, June 11, 2009
First but maybe the last
This is my first time using this site, and i know i am definetly not a blogger. I write this for myself eventhough I dont know I would ever going to read it again.
Today I finished my last final exam of the quarter. It is math, and I've been struggling with math since the first day I attended school. The test was hard, harder than I thought at least, and there is a big posibility now that I might be failing it.... sigh
I cannot remember how many times I have to take math over and over again, I am a little disappointed at myself but also worried at the same time. I dont know how to face my mom, I know she worked extra hard for me to go to college, and what I did? anything but study, and I am already wasted enough time for this course, it stopped me from taking upper class of my major- Economics, yes as bad as it sounds now a days.
What should I do, how am I going to face it?
life gose on, sun is gonna come out again, and me?....
Today I finished my last final exam of the quarter. It is math, and I've been struggling with math since the first day I attended school. The test was hard, harder than I thought at least, and there is a big posibility now that I might be failing it.... sigh
I cannot remember how many times I have to take math over and over again, I am a little disappointed at myself but also worried at the same time. I dont know how to face my mom, I know she worked extra hard for me to go to college, and what I did? anything but study, and I am already wasted enough time for this course, it stopped me from taking upper class of my major- Economics, yes as bad as it sounds now a days.
What should I do, how am I going to face it?
life gose on, sun is gonna come out again, and me?....
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